29 Things You Won't See Me Do This Year

I have officially completed 29 years of life. 

This makes today the beginning of my 30th year. 

Dude.

3 decades ago there was no internet. 

3 decades ago the Berlin Wall was a thing.

Berlin_Wall_Potsdamer_Platz_November_1975_looking_east_crop.jpg


3 decades ago Janet Jackson released Control.

JanetJackson-Control

Someone asked me the other day what I’d be doing next year.

The only thing I could say with any certainty was that I knew what I WOULDN'T be doing in a year.

29 things you won’t see me do this year...

(and a few of my favorite .gifs)

  1. Gone are the days of pets. Adopting a pet is just not in my cards.
  2. Devoting the sum of my life to someone else’s dream is done. There’s only time for me to build one castle - mine. And I prefer to have it house more than just me. (I want my castle to benefit way more people than just myself.)
  3. Partaking of excess does not sound like fun. Nope. Therefore, you won’t see me purchasing more than 3 pair of shoes. Minimalist wardrobe for the win!
  4. Never will you see me wear a one-piece again. My tummy is glorious, and covered in stretch marks and every single one of them deserves to see the sunshine.
  5. You won't see me pick up jogging. FUUUUUCK no. I’d prefer to keep my knees thank you very much. I’ll just walk. Walking is God's speed.
  6. Selling my cello might seem like a lucrative choice, but I won’t be able to bring myself to do it. Over my dead body. I refuse to choose lifestyle comfort over my true desires.
  7. I’m absolutely done with trying to make stuff work that just flat-out does not work.
  8. You won’t see me wearing that one dress I’ve always hated. I finally gave it away two weeks ago.
  9. You won’t see me refuse to delegate tasks. Asking for help is now my 2nd option.
  10. You won’t see me NOT fall in love. It’s time. I’m ready. If not an actual real life man, maybe I’ll finally fall in love with my TBD favorite author.
  11. Purchase furniture. There’s too much awesome furniture out there just waiting for a new home. Plus, I just don’t have space for anything else.
  12. I ain’t frontin’ I’m a basic bitch when it comes to food. I like my Prego pasta sauce and boxed wine. Those two things make my world go ‘round.
  13. “Okay, That’s fine.” shall henceforth be removed from my vocabulary. If it’s really and truly fine, there’s definitely a more creative and meaningful way to say it. If it’s in actuality not okay and fine - I won’t be saying it.
  14. Though I won’t be selling my cello, you still won’t see me play the cello as much as I did last year. Alas, Essential Tremor.
  15. You won’t see me spend more than 10 minutes on my hair every day. Get this. I don’t even own a hairbrush.
  16. I'm done avoiding using money as a tool for my advantage. 
  17. You won’t see me avoid the dentist any longer. It’s time. Someone, make sure I’ve at least made an appointment in April.
  18. You won’t see me get schmarmy. I’ve just about had it with the douchebaggery that is the music industry. I can’t take it. I can smell that shit a mile away and I want no part of it.
  19. You won’t see me make a choice in which 34 year old Emily will not be considered. She’s a more important part of my life these days.
  20. You won’t see me sitting at a desk for longer than 2 hours. (See also: “I love my standing desk.”)
  21. There’s a time and a place for telling the truth. But this year you won’t see me telling it all the time. Sometimes I’ll just be very very silent instead.
  22. You won’t see me go another year without going to karaoke.
  23. You won’t see me make as many goals. I recognize how contradictory it is to state that in a list of 30 things I’m aiming to no longer do. But you’ve gotta start somewhere right?
  24. You won’t see me ignore my inner artist. She’s a demanding lady and needs some quality time on the regular.
  25. You won’t see me feeling shitty about myself. Victim-y mindsets are over. As bad as things might seem someday, I will still have choice. And that says a lot.
  26. I’m done denying that I have ESP. No joke. There have been too many ‘unexplainable & crazy’ coincidences involving communication for that denial to continue any longer. 
  27. In fact, I’m done trying to explain or excuse the unexplainable.
  28. I'm done with coffee-less mornings.
  29. Finally, I can't make any promises about staying clothed. I have a distinct feeling that skinny dipping will be a theme this year.

There you have it.

*blows out candles*

birthday cake